Monday, April 20, 2009

love.

life is short.
we're born.
we live.
we die.
and in between there are a lot of things
things that can go right
and
things that can go wrong
things you know
things you will never know.
there are a few things i know

"Please don't forget. Never forget. Always remember that I love you."

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Verbal Vomit

an absence/he described it as being much like the last time he fell up the stairs/the handles weren't there/and neither were his friends/he stood there staring down/eyes swallowed by the shadows formed by his brow/he stood there looking away/he decided he would jump/again/so/he did/and when he stood there looking up/he felt absent/yet/complete/and he described it as being much like the last time he fell into the sky

(Colin posted a blog on the Circa Survive myspace with a poem inviting people to write something, I did. And I decided I would put it here as well. here is Colin's initial post)

he took the mona lisa/stairs out the window/into/the negative space of the shadows/when the moon’s 12 o clock/to get there/there’s no other way/give to me your side of the story/cause i want to know what you saw/i want to know how it felt/as you were floating away


Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Memory Lapse

I live day to day
with the hopes that
you will forget me in the morning,
and when you don't forget me
I wake.
Sleeping is a task
and when I wake
holds my fate
and you
are my fate.

Forever,
beloved
and
forgotten.

The choices are none,
my mind has been made
but not for myself
but by your touch
and your name.

If you freeze in place
then I can touch your skin.
If you give up your face
then I can let you in.
We do not allow masks
in this establishment.
We do not allow lies
in our love
or falsification
in our eyes.
Illusion we forbid.
Why are too shy;
too timid.

Our clocks, we set all back
five minutes
every seven minutes
and twelve minutes
every two.
The pattern lies
not within our eyes
but within our mind
and around our head.
The concept of time
that you know
is dead.
We keep clocks
for convenience.
The second hand reminds us
that our heart
still beats.

And
our hearts
still beat
and
our minds
still think
and
we all
still live
and
we try
to love
and
you try
to give
and
I attempt
to take
but
my head
is too weak
and
my hands
are both fake
and
your touch
is like ice
and
so black
are your eyes
and
too far
is your mind
but
still standing
is my hope.
that allows me to live
day to day
with the hope that
you will
forget me in the morning.

Every second spent,
every heartbeat sent
pulses through your body
and signals to your brain.
The goosebumps start to rise,
hair raised with conscious mind.
The matter at hand is not urgent
but that isn't what you claim.

Don't live a lie.
You live to die.
On your second try
you failed, again.

Let go and drop it
Watch it shatter
Then peel of your skin to prove
appearances don't matter.
Let your bones do the talking
and your muscles be your lines
to prove that flesh is nothing more
than something used to bind.
The words I say, each breath, each phrase,
all fall short of warning.
Each single sound is useless now
because you will forget me in the morning.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Year New Happy

What midnight on New Year's Day means is:
-Giant ball covered in lights dropping in New York.
-Resolutions people said last year and the year before that they will be saying again next year and the year after that.
-Promises to yourself and to other people that you won't keep.
-Worldwide Hangover Day on the morning of January 1st for each respective part of the world.
-Parties, galore.
-Almost certainly, more than one person will be killed because some idiot was driving drunk or shot a gun.
-And to coincide with the previous statement, emergency rooms will most likely be busy, yet businesses today will most likely not. Mostly, cause a lot of them are closed.
-Wishful thinking that because it's the start of a new year, you have a new chance to do things differently, and yeah sure, you do, but nothing else you used to do or had already done before has changed.
-There will be more wars, more violence, more killing.
-There will be more births, and more deaths.
-Another day has gone by and nothing's changed but the number to describe the years since we devised a way to keep track of what we call time.
-The world is still in the same state that it was the day, and incidentally, the year before.

Yet none of this really matters, because no matter how logical it is that New Year's day means nothing in and of itself, it's just the symbolism that comes with the day and the optimism it generates (albeit, it quickly fades) means more to everyone than any of this other stuff does. I know this because the entire world gets excited for this, and it reminds us that no matter what happens in the world, on this day, everyone can stop and be unified, and that we in the world really are one, interconnected with each other, spiritually, always. It's not like the entire world watches the clock in their respective time zones and when it strikes midnight, they all yell, "YAY!!! HAPPY AUGUST 17th!!!"


Happy New Year all.
Have fun, don't die.
I have work at 8:30 in the morning, how much does that blow?
Seriously.
Whatever.

And something for you all to think about...
New Zealand is the first to get the New Year and Samoa and Midway Island are the last to get the New Year, yet for some reason, people don't realize that the entire world is only on the same day for about an hour, with the time when I write this here on the West Coast of California, United States it is Jan 1st, 2:20 AM, the beginning of the New year, in Wellington, New Zealand, it is 10:20 PM, just near the end of New Year's day and in Samoa and Midway Island it is Dec, 31st, 11:20 PM, not even the new year yet. The entire world is on the the same day for one hour. At 1:00 PM in Samoa and Midway Island, it will be 12:00 AM, January 2nd in New Zealand.
Enjoy your New Year hour, world.

Happy 2009
peace and love

Monday, December 29, 2008

Thoughts.

I guess you know when things are genuine when everything begins to seem unreal. The people you know, how you know them, why you know them, how much they have affected your life and how much you truly love them for it. And even the people you don't like, or have had some sort of "negative" input in your life must be thanked. Whatever was done by them seemed pretty bad on a smaller scale, but in the grand scheme of things, if it were not for certain not so great events in one's life, then one would not be who or where they are today. Whether they are in a "good" place or a "bad" place, that all really is subjective. Things are blurring for me a little bit, in a weird way. Not that I am forgetting things, but they are refocusing and I'm looking at a lot of things a different way. Who knows.

Anyway, anyone who actually reads any of this and is waiting for Part III of "Sand and Stars", well, thank you for reading it will arrive sometime before the week's end. Sorry about the delay (I still don't know who I'm apologizing to, but eh...) but it shall be up soon.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Short Straw

Who drew the short straw?
Who's fate lies in wait?
Of the last of all options
which one leads you straight?
Straight to the end of all life and what of
this new path that may lead you
to new light and new love.
Or perhaps what you feel in the pit of your gut
is more than meant for you, but for her.
She is on your mind
but not in your heart
and it is as of yet unknown
whether she can be a part.
One within you
within her
to be us.
When you fade what is left
and turn ash into dust
and turn dust into clay
and then form something new
that's when you put in you.
Take the crude model
and sculpt it as such
sure, it starts off as nothing
and it isn't much
but you form and refine
each shape and each curve
until it looks fit for color
which you then promptly serve.
You pull out your paints
take the blue and the red
paint the skin and the eyes
and the hair on your heads.
Keep painting and painting
until you paint in your sleep
and you're never done painting
and it is never complete.
Because it can't be painted by just one
and one alone
it must be shared by both
it must be shared by both
it must be shared and equal
and it must be a joint effort
cause it cannot be sculpted
by one and no other
hearts that share the same feelings
for one to another.
It must be shared by both
it must be shared by both
because, of course all alone
you can make of it the most
of what you can, but it's better
if she is there too.
On same plane and same level
and
same
mindset

as
you

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thanksgiving Day

"It's a sign..."
He exclaimed,
"The good Lord has arrived!"
You pray to something you believe but can't see with your eyes.
Is it that I'm too blind to notice?
Or too stubborn to care?
When it all falls apart,
am I to believe someone's there?
Overlooking my "path" that "He" has set from the start.
Put the blood in my veins that now runs through my heart.
Placed my brain in my head and my feet on the ground.
Makes the images in my sight and in my ears, places sound.
The omnipotent? Almighty? Oh, God...give me a break.
If you're really there, then why do I feel so fake?
Every minute of the day, we play as your pawns.
From sunrise to sunset, from dusk until dawn.

Am I to give thanks, believe, attribute my life
to someone, or something, I can't see with my eyes?

"But see, without eyes...I see without mine,
I see my God right here, even though I am blind."

Maybe it's the concept, with which I disagree
that your God is her God, and he is also with me.
When we all believe something completely unique
We're all too quick to jump up and judge and critique.
And I dislike your religion, and you dislike my beliefs.
Only, I'll let you pray, but you just won't let me be.
So I say we give thanks to our own desires
with no prerequisites or justifications required
I say we give thanks to the sun and the moon
without which we'd have not night nor a noon
I say we give thanks to the sound of the Earth
what she says when we sleep, and how she smiles at our birth
I say we give thanks to one another always
cause we're all self-sustaining in so many ways
And I give thanks to you
no matter who you are.
Because no matter how different our beliefs
or how we live day to day
we are all one in this world
we are all one in the same.


(Happy Thanksgiving to all, even though that may be the most awkward way you've ever received Thanksgiving wishes and by far the most awkward way I have delivered them.)